"I want some time for us to talk, I want to know everything you have to tell me", my daughter Camila, the second one, said to me; we had not seen each other for many days and there was a lot to talk about.

Finally there was a space in the day and she expected me to tell her a little; "a little" is a colloquial Colombian phrase to say that I was going to list each and every one of her mistakes in the form of a typical paternal scolding. In another era I would have done it; from any mistake I would get a life lesson that I would use for a minimum one-hour oratory. Not anymore. I told her that listing the mistakes is something very easy because it is obvious, everyone notices them, we all know them; but the virtues that are growing that before were not so evident and today are more noticeable, that is what is important.

"Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her" John 8:7.

My children had to endure for many years a condemning dad with long talks full of phrases taken from books or attributed to Paulo Coelho in Instagram posts. I abused my position of power and knowledge.

Condemnation is everywhere, we tend to see the bad in everything and not the good. "I tell the truth even if it hurts" makes part of our usual excuses for doing so.

But what if we start extolling the virtues of the other: You did this well, you did that better, thank you for the effort, I have noticed a change. To recognize the good in the other is to manifest the goodness that is in our hearts.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? " S. Luke 6:41

One would think this passage is a scolding from Jesus, and it is; but beyond the scolding it is an invitation for us to work on ourselves to help others. "...and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye" It does not say that we can judge, but it does say that we can help.

May the task in us be to grow in our virtues, and exalt the work and effort of the other. May it not be by judging but by helping them in all their needs.

God bless you!

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)